Stage Dive
by 1wildrose1
Summary: One year, he said – one year to tour the world solo, then he'd be back with Bad Luck. But would he be back with Yuki? Prequel/Preface to Beautiful Liar


**My first Gravitation fiction ever! Both Yuki and Shuichi are a little OOC here but it's kind of in context to the story...you'll see when you read it ;) Enjoy!**

**1wildrose1 .. x**

_**Rating:**_ T  
><em><strong>Pairing (s):<strong>_ Yuki/Shuichi  
><em><strong>Disclaimer:<strong>_ I don't own Gravitation or any of the characters...Nor do I own any of the songs (all listed at the bottom.)  
><em><strong>Summary:<strong>_ One year, he said – one year to tour the world solo, then he'd be back with Back Luck. But would he be back with Yuki?

_**Warnings:**_** Shounen-ai **(Male/male relationships), **OOC-ness**.

**Note: I have no idea where the Gravitation characters actually live in Japan, so I'm assuming it's three hours away from the Tokyo Dome – if it bothers you, look it up and message me so I can change it. **

**Also, this is more a preface than a prequel to Beautiful Liar, which should be up soon. **

_**Stage Dive**_

The lights faded one by one, casting both the stage and audience into darkness – the soft music that had been playing to fill the wait with sound ceased, effectively hushing the excited fans. This was it – after a whole year, he was back! Six men in the front row stood still – calm and patient on the surface, buzzing with anticipation underneath – ahead of just under fifty-five thousand others.

The unnatural silence stretched for some time, turning the tense atmosphere into one of confusion. Voices whispered in the dark, asking their companions if this was supposed to be happening – had he cancelled? Was he sick?

"This is some ridiculous ploy to build suspense, isn't it?" The tall blond man with golden eyes made a point of checking his wristwatch, making it clear that the concert was running late.

The brunette next to him dared to nudge him gently, earning a glare. "You said you'd play nice."

The blond shrugged. "He's not here."

"I do hope he isn't hurt." The shortest of the three blonds in their group frowned to himself as he gazed at the darkened stage pensively.

"He'd better not be. I've not driven all the way to Tokyo Dome for nothing." He stepped to the side a little in agitation, only to snarl in annoyance at the man operating one of the many cameras facing the stage when he bumped into him.

"Eiri, please relax."

Eiri glared at the other blond – relax? _Easy for him to say – he hadn't been humiliated like I had_. "I am relaxed, Tohma."

The other three stood silently, ignoring this exchange – the same words had been passed in the car at least five times now, making the journey even more uncomfortable than it already was. The youngest of the group, Suguru, had been made to sit on the lap belonging to his worst nightmare, Hiro. Well...not worst nightmare, per cé – more like: man he had an undying and embarrassing crush on since the dawn of time, yet said man still didn't have a clue. Awkward. The six of them couldn't fit in the car so he got volunteered, as the smallest, to trade his seat for a lap for the whole three hour journey.

Suddenly, the lights began to brighten up again, coming from the back of the stage, casting the figure standing on it into silhouette. The audience screamed and pressed against the front row – though wary of the six strange men – in an attempt to get even closer.

Music began to thrum through the cavernous room – percussion and violin; not his usual style – as the figure swayed with a purpose, looking to the left for a second before stepping forward so it was right up to the edge of the stage, body language aggressive from this view.

_**Shuichi**_

"_When I'm nervous, I have this thing, yeah, I talk too much_." The lights behind me moved to the front, shining down on the stage – on me – letting the audience see me. I suppose I looked a little different than I did a year ago – I'd dyed my hair platinum blond with black streaks and had a eyebrow bar. I had a few tattoos down my left arm of various phrases like 'strength', 'faith' and 'hope', but other than that I was pretty much the same. Oh, except the fact that I spent a year dancing hardcore every single day and became pretty toned – not ripped, but muscular. "_Sometimes I just can't shut the hell up_."

I prowled round the stage, giving Japan more attitude than they were used to – they were expecting the little J-pop star that had once dazzled their television sets. But I'd changed – seasoned by the music styles of America, England, France, Italy, Greece and more. Shuichi Shindou – or just Shuichi as I was known now – the solo artist who had just finished a very successful world tour. But I'm ready now – ready to face what I left behind. "_It's like I need to tell someone, anyone who'll listen, and that's where I seem to fuck up._"

The lights above me shone in my eyes, casting the audience into darkness – but I knew they would be swaying to the beat, dancing with me to the right parts, completely stunned by my presence. They always were. "_Yeah, I forget about the consequences,_" I leaned forward into the front row, singing to them as I travelled across the stage, looking out to where I knew their faces would be like I was singing to them individually – there was only one person I was singing this song to. "_For a minute there I lose my senses,_" I dropped to my knees and looked smoulderingly into one of the cameras, knowing that a large projection of this would appear behind me. "_And in the heat of the moment, my mouth starts going, the words start flowing, oh._"

I stood again, snaking backwards slowly. "_But I never meant to hurt you, I know that it's time that I learned to treat the people I love like I wanna be loved._" I began to stomp around to the rhythm, encouraging my audience to do the same as I picked up the pace. "_This is a lesson learned. I hate that I let you down and I feel so bad about it. I guess karma comes back around, 'cos I'm the one that's hurting, yeah, and I hate that I made you think that the trust we had is broken. Don't tell me you can't forgive me, 'cos nobody's perfect, no!_"

By the end of the song, I had thousands singing along with me, already picking up the words. The music ended, leaving just the sound of my back up singers and band to set up for the next song and the audience cheering and clapping. "Hello, Tokyo!" Returning scream. _Wow – so that's what fifty-five thousand people sounds like_. "I hope you enjoyed that introduction to my new style. I'm afraid to say that every song I sing has a genuine meaning behind it – I write nothing for no reason. This next song is about the reason I left a year ago – one of them at least. I hope you like it – this is Stop and Stare." I approached the front of the stage and sat, crossing my legs and smiling out to the black space before me. "I'm going to sit down for this one, okay?"

The music started and the lights changed, letting me see the first few rows. _Fuck_. Suddenly, I was that kid again – the one that froze at his first ever concert as a warm-up act for the long forgotten band ASK. Once again, my amethyst eyes met his gold ones, stopping me in my tracks. He looked so...cold. Like he didn't even recognise me – or he didn't want to. I suppose he had every right to look that way after the way I left things.

I blinked once and wiped my face clean of shock – I wasn't that kid; I was a professional and the song had started. "_This town is colder now, I think it's sick of us. It's time to make our move, I'm shaking off the rust. __I've got my heart set on anywhere but here. I'm staring down myself, counting up the years. Steady hands, just take the wheel...and every glance is killing me. Time to make one last appeal...for the life I lead._"

I met the eyes of random fans in my range, my eyes full of sad emotions and the feeling of being misunderstood – whatever they wanted this song to mean. Only I knew what this song was. Only me. "_Stop and stare. I think I'm moving, but I go nowhere. Yeah, I know that everyone gets scared, but I've become what I can't be, oh. Stop and stare. You start to wonder why you're here not there and you'd give anything to get what's fair, but fair ain't what you really need. Oh, can you see what I see?_"

By now I'm just going through the motions – pulling faces to the multitude of new songs I was performing that they could interpret as whatever they wanted. But I showed no real emotion – he was watching; I couldn't let him know. Before I knew it, the concert was at an end. "Thank you all so much. I've enjoyed my time as a solo artist, but I think it's only right that Bad Luck reformed once again – I'm sure you agree." They screamed and agreed like they always did. "Goodnight!"

_**XxXxXxXxXxX**_

"Are you ready for them?" I looked up to see my personal assistant, Stephanie, peaking round the door of my far too large dressing room – I met her in England eight months ago; she had just turned eighteen and loved Japanese pop culture. She'd practically stalked me for the four days that I had stayed there, eventually getting caught by my bodyguards when she had gotten too close. Long story short, she travelled with us across the world, becoming my PA and good friend – she had said that she would move back to England when this was all over, but, somehow, I doubted she would.

I took a deep breath and stared at my reflection in the long mirror on the wall – I looked pretty pale in this light; the dark circles under my eyes clearly visible, but maybe that's just because I knew they were there. "Is Tadao on his way?"

She nodded, typing expertly quick on her PDA. "He's going to be here in an hour – he said that you would probably want some time with your friends first. After all, you haven't seen them for a year."

I smiled. "Thanks, Steph. You can take the rest of the night off."

She beamed and removed her headset, turning off the PDA. "You were great, as always." I waved her out and turned back to the dressing table, packing everything up that I'd scattered across it. A small cough bubbled through my throat, making me frown. Not again...At the noise, Stephanie paused, just about to close the door behind her. She backtracked and gave me a worried look. "Shuichi?"

I dropped into the nearby chair, breathing hard – _fuck_. My chest burned – each breath of air felt like acid. I nodded at her. "Yeah, again."

She pushed her way back into the room, retrieving what I needed. "I guess I don't get the night off then."

_**Yuki**_

That assistant had been gone for over half an hour now. I didn't care how many times Tohma told me to calm down, I had perfectly valid reasons for remaining as I am – not only was that useless girl nowhere to be seen when all she said she was doing was seeing if he was ready to see us, but...well...I was seeing him after all this time. He'd up and left me for a whole year and then expected me to come running when he invited me to his concert – which I had, but that's besides the point. He didn't even have the guts to call me himself – he called Hiro because he knew that he was the only one that would dare drag me here.

I growled in frustration and pushed off the wall I'd been leaning against. "Wait if you want – I'm going to find him myself."

"I thought you didn't want to see him?" I glared at Tohma as I went past, noting that, despite his words, he followed me with the rest of them.

"The sooner we get this out of the way, the sooner I can leave." He knew I didn't mean that – Tohma was one of the few people that could read me like a book. I marched down to the end of the blandly decorated corridor, instantly finding the door with his name on – what the hell was taking that assistant so long if his room was so close?

Admittedly, I should have knocked, but my patience was shot to pieces – I was anxious to see him away from those bright stage lights. I had seriously thought that I would never breathe again when he sat directly in front of me to sing the slow songs – he'd seen me, so there was no way I could duck out. That had been what comforted me when I made the decision to come – with his old style, he had just stood in the centre of the stage with a microphone, unable to see the front row due to the bright stage lights; I'd assumed that if I changed my mind, he would think that I'd never even come. But that safety net was gone now – I had no choice.

I'd meant to scowl, hiss out a few choice phrases to express my annoyance at having to wait, but the sight that greeted me when I threw that door open made me choke. He was slouched in a chair in the middle of the room, pale as a sheet and breathing harshly into an oxygen mask that was held up to his face by the same assistant that I had been cursing. His hands were limply gripping her shoulders as she crouched between his knees, telling him that it was okay, just relax.

The girl looked up at the sound of us walking in – her expression was calm, considering that she was helping her boss breathe. I wanted to jump forward and force her to look as panicky as I felt, but I had enough sense to realise that it was a good thing that she had a level head. Hiro appeared beside me, his breath hitching at the sight. "What...?"

She shook her head at him, cutting him off, before turning back to Shuichi. "Don't worry – this happens all the time."

All the time? "What do you mean? Surely that would make you more concerned." I didn't want to seem worried, but...he was blinking so slowly, staring at nothing in particular.

The assistant sighed, pushing on her employer's chest, making him sit straight in the chair. "Of course, but we've worked out a system. Besides, it shouldn't be a problem from now on – it gets set off when he overdoes it with a performance. Those diva notes combined with the dancing? His lungs don't appreciate it. Can you imagine how much I freaked when he collapsed the first time, gasping and coughing up blood?" I bit the inside of my cheek to prevent myself from rushing to him – I had to keep my distance. I had to – he didn't want me, so I won't force myself into his life. I'm not that desperate.

The six of us stepped into the room, waiting for Shuichi's assistant to say...something. If I hadn't spent so many years practising my calm and collected façade, I'm sure that I wouldn't have been able to keep still – as it was, I had to keep grinding my teeth and clenching my fists every time he made a small noise of discomfort.

Eventually, he gained enough strength to sit up by himself, smiling through the oxygen mask at his assistant. "Thank you, Steph – I can handle it now."

She nodded and pressed a small device into his hand. "You know the button – I'm staying close by, so don't hesitate to call."

He nodded and waved her away. "Go call your mother – she's been bugging me for days about you avoiding her."

The girl – Steph – grinned sheepishly and waved goodbye. She paused briefly beside the door, looking between me and Tohma, clearly trying to decide who to talk to. "Whoever it concerns, his pills are in the green box at the top of his bag and he knows how to work the mask." With that, she left the room, leaving us in the room with the slowly recovering Shuichi.

Hiro walked up to him uncertainly. "Is it okay to hug you?"

The only answer he got was Shuichi reaching up and pulling him into his arms. "Missed you."

I could practically hear my bones crack when he said that – he missed Hiro. Of course he did, he was his best friend – that didn't mean that it pissed me off any less that he told him that before he...no. He wouldn't say that to me. Why would he? I was the evil ex-boyfriend.

Hiro stepped back, his lips twisted in a kind of half-smile. "We talked on the phone every Sunday and you couldn't mention this?" My fists tightened all the more – they talked every week? I hadn't even got a passed on 'hello' for a whole year.

Shuichi shrugged. "I didn't want to freak you out."

Hiro scoffed and crossed his arms, acting much the mother hen. "And seeing you like that with no warning whatsoever isn't supposed to freak me out?" He scanned his eyes up and down his body, checking for more damage. "What's with the tattoos? And a piercing? Shuichi, really?"

Shuichi smiled guiltily, pulling the oxygen mask down to hang around his neck. "I wanted reminders from my favourite cities. This is Rome, Athens and Madrid." He indicated each of his tattoos down his arm. "And this is London." The eyebrow bar. He avoided Hiro's scolding look, casting his eyes towards where the rest of us stood, pausing on me for a fraction of a second before concentrating on the other four. "Suguru? Mr. K? Mr. Sakano? And Mr. Seguchi, too?" He blatantly ignored my presence, but I could see the way he flicked his thumbnail against the other nails on the same hand – something he would always do after we had a big fight. It meant he was nervous. "I hope it isn't just business that brings you here?"

Tohma's expression didn't change as he stood beside me, but I knew that he, as the president of NG, was only here to witness Bad Luck's reunion – officially, anyway. Unofficially, he had always had a soft spot for Shuichi – he found him amusing and tended to see him as a nephew of sorts that he was fond of. Only I knew that, of course – he had told me so when I confronted him about the way he had hounded Shuichi about being with me. Maybe if I'd told the pink-haired – well, blond-haired now – idiot at least once about how much I actually cared for him, he wouldn't have left...

Suguru smiled, making his way over to the boy in the chair. The kid had come out of his shell a lot because of Shuichi and his antics, openly admitting that he considered his band mates his best friends – something the old him would never have admitted.

Thinking about it, I suppose Shuichi changed all of us – Suguru was more social, Hiro was...well Hiro, Mr. K was more tolerant and less willing to pull out his guns, Sakano was constantly nervous – not all changes were positive, I admit – Tohma was more compassionate and I...I learned not to feel guilty about being in love. But I learned far too late and he had grown sick of my neglect, telling me that he couldn't deal with my coldness any more alongside everything else – it was too much. I had been too shocked to ask at the time, but it still plagued me that I didn't know what else was on his mind – had I been that inconsiderate that I hadn't asked my lover what was wrong? I hadn't even noticed anything _was_ wrong until that night. The next day he was on the plane to America, which showed me that he had planned it all. Tohma had known he was going for weeks.

I barely registered any of the conversation, keeping my gaze focused on the wall in front of me – occasionally stealing a glance at the mirror on the wall which gave me a clear view of the four men surrounding him as he laughed and chatted, drawing a breath from the oxygen mask every so often.

A knock sounded on the door before a short man with a bad fake tan let himself in, beaming around the room with his overly white teeth. That was before he saw Shuichi. "Oh, no – again?" He furrowed his eyebrows and walked up to the oxygen tank that Shuichi's mask was hooked up to, inspecting it. "It wasn't a bad one then?" Wait – _that_ had been mild? What was considered bad?

Shuichi shook his head. "It was alright – Steph got to me quick. I'm better now, anyway – can you switch it off?"

The man did so and packed it all away in a large bag behind the chair. When he was done, he straightened and turned to Tohma. "Allow me to introduce myself, Mr. Seguchi – my name is Tadao Watanabe. I am – well, since that was his last solo concert – I _was_ Shuichi's manager and producer."

Tohma smiled and took Watanabe's offered hand, shaking it. "Thank you for taking care of him."

Despite his gaudy appearance, he seemed to be an efficient and polite person, making quick work of whatever papers needed signing to hand Shuichi back over to NG. A few short pleasantries were exchanged before he shook Shuichi's hand, smiling pleasantly at him. "Well, it's been an experience working with you, Shuichi – you're one in a million. Keep in touch."

"Thank you for everything, and I'll be sure to." Shuichi waved to him as he left, still slumped in the chair.

Hiro frowned at his state. "Maybe we should go to the hotel and let you rest. Are you riding home with us?"

Shuichi shook his head. "No, I bought a car earlier today. It's in the car park of the hotel I'm staying at – you know that ridiculously huge one at the end of the street?" He run a hand through his hair in exasperation. "It's so fancy – I don't feel comfortable there. Like, I'm too common to be eating with fine silver."

Hiro snorted and kissed his forehead. "You want me to walk you there?"

His eyes met mine with purpose for the first time in a year. "Actually, could I talk to you, Yuki?"

They all tensed, staring at me from the corner of their eyes, waiting for my response. Be alone with him? Could I trust myself? I hated myself for it, but I'd been pining for him since we broke up and if he offered me another chance...I don't think I'd be strong enough to resist. I knew what I'd hoped would happen when I came here – if I really didn't want to see him, not even Hiro would have made me. I wanted him back. I wanted the chance to drop to my knees and beg him to see that I'd changed – a thought which scared me, because I would never consider begging anyone else for anything. As much as my pride and my conditioned thought processes grated at me for feeling it, I missed him so much that it didn't matter to me that he'd left me – all I cared about was getting him back. But, of course, I still had enough pride not to show any of this in front of everyone else. "If you must."

He cringed at the cold sound of my voice, but bid the others a good night anyway, clearly dismissing them. His gaze didn't leave mine as they left, waiting for the door to click shut. The loud silence that remained rung in our ears, egging us on to make the first move. I refused – I wanted him back, but if I could get out of this with a shred of dignity, I would.

"I missed you – _really_ missed you." He choked around his words, biting his lip.

He missed me? That meant that he still loved me...right? Or was that wishful thinking? I hated the fact that he had me questioning everything. "It's your fault for leaving."

He frowned and stared at his lap, pulling at the frayed parts of the styled rips in his jeans. "Don't get defensive – how many times did you leave me?"

I blinked, unable to come up with a smart arse comment to fire back – he was right. But I'd never stayed away for as long as he had...even though it was always his doing that I came back at all..."That's completely different."

"How is it?" He fixed me with an intense look – one which I didn't know the meaning of. "You ran because your past was haunting you – I was running from my present." He paused, making me wonder what else his 'present' had been throwing at him. "I thought it would be better for the both of us if we separated. I was wrong – it made everything worse. I need you."

My stomach unclenched in relief – he wanted me back too...it was okay...the last year would be forgotten. We'll be back to normal. "...you've gotten better at writing lyrics."

He grinned and stood up shakily, walking over to me slowly – should he be that feeble? I supposed it was just from whatever was wrong before, combined with being tired from the concert. "I've had a lot of negative feelings to vent." Stopping in front of me, he twisted his hands around each other, staring at his feet. "Hiro tells me that you aren't writing any more."

I nodded, reaching out to hold his chin between my thumb and forefinger, pulling his face up – my God, it felt so good to touch him again. "My inspiration left." I leaned forward, breathing against his lips, inhaling his scent as deeply as I could, letting the long-memorised smell seep into my very being, filling me up. "My publisher is going to love you."

He laughed breathlessly against me, automatically leaning closer into my body until our chests touched, making us both gasp at the contact. "Is this really happening? Are you really letting me back in this easily?" His voice was no more than a whisper, as though he were afraid to break the peace. Maybe I should use this time to show him...prove to him that I wasn't as heartless as I used to want the world to believe I was.

I slid my free hand to the back of his neck, caressing the skin there, locking my eyes with his to show him that I meant it. "I love you, Shuichi."

His breath stopped momentarily as his eyes widened. "Y-you..." He swallowed and tried again. "You said it. The first time...you actually said it." His arms wound around my middle, squeezing as tight as he could – at the back of my mind, I noted that his hold wasn't as strong as, perhaps, it should have been. "I love you – Yuki, I love you, too!"

His lips collided with mine, making my whole body practically scream with joy – after so long...But I couldn't do anything other than keep it chaste – he had just been on an oxygen tank, after all, and I could hear that his breath was still rather raspy in an unhealthy way.

Suddenly, his knees gave out, forcing me to catch him with the only arm that was quick enough. "You okay?"

He nodded, smiling tiredly. "Yeah, sorry – just, you know, overwhelming."

I leaned down to sweep him into my arms. "I'll take you back to your hotel – is it alright if your stuff stays here overnight?"

He nodded sleepily, snuggling into my chest. "Yeah...we've got this room until one o'clock tomorrow. S'long as I get my crap before then, they'll look after it."

I pressed my lips against his forehead, grabbing the small green box from his bag before carrying him through the building and down a secluded alleyway that lead to his hotel, being escorted all the way by one of his personal bodyguards who showed me where his room was. By the time I lay him down on the bed and got him comfortable, he was fast asleep. I couldn't help but smile at the sight as I sat at the edge of the bed, stroking his hair.

How could I ever have guessed what lay in store?

**The whole deal with Shuichi's breathing problems will be explained in the sequel. **

**For Shuichi's hair, think Pink in her video for Funhouse – he will be going back pink though, never fear. **

**Songs: **

**Jessie J – Nobody's Perfect**

**One Republic – Stop and Stare**


End file.
